Day 1 - Day 30. Summarized…
Day 1
“I think I missed you before I even met you.”
I can’t stop thinking about how your eyes fulfilled my life for the mer set in time. I just miss your eye. There’s a quote I like and I wanna share it. “Our eyelashes brushed like they would weave together by themselves and make us a sight worth seeing.”
I just wish you would put aside your stupid thoughts cause if you knew the truth you would know I am nothing like or near what you made of me in your mind. But seeing Michael said.. I love you too you shattered my heart and made me see life in a different view… so I have to say goodnight cause I have job interviews in the morning.
That was the complete day one note.. here comes the summary of the rested.
“It always seem like every time I go to say something about my feelings the words I use get caught in my throat, so I try to write them down and my fingers turn to mud.. So all I want to say is just stuck in my head. That’s when I start to wish that you could get inside my mind and know them… but I know once you went into my mind you would never want to talk to me again cause I am so messed up inside..” -Anthony DeName
You are wrong about everything. I loved Emily, and I cared for her.. I always will cause she became a part of me. But I came to realize I love you more! I want to be with you.. I care for you more…. I will always love you more than her But…
I know now… what you want. And that’s to live life… I love so much I have to let you go. I mean I don’t want to be with anyone but you.. But it’s okay. You can say I wanna be with Emily if I wanted to I would talk to her and get her back! I don’t want her. I want you. But I am okay with letting you go. I love you so much that I know I can’t try to keep you when you don’t want to be. I hope you smile when your with him.. Cause that’s all I want. I hope when he looks down onto your amazing body he has all the love I have in my heart for you and more.. I hope he can complete you. I am sorry shit ended like they did. But that’s cause you wanted them to end that way. But just know. I love you. And always will.. Take care my gorgeous friend… text me when you have something to say. :D
Okay, You say you want me. It’s hard to believe anyone would want someone like me. I have so many problems with me. And I wish I could treat you so much better… I really do. You deserve the best.
Your so amazing. I’m going to miss….When you smile how your teeth show… The way your eyes reflect an image of me.. The way your lips feel against mine. The way your hand feels when it’s in-laced with mine and your ring digs into my skin… how i’d let it dig until my finger fell out. The way you love to put your head on my chest when we slept at night. How you thought you could be me up… than I would just tickle you until you gave up… How I made you addicted to Cokes… How when we showered together how you loved to try and wash my hair… and you would miss some parts…but I didn’t want to tell you cause I was just happy I was in the shower with you… The way you hands rub on my skin… How you would stare at me when i drove and I would wink and you would look away so fast… cause I caught you staring at me… I will miss your perfect body. I will miss smacking your booty till it went numb. I will everything about you..
If you read this and your crying i’m sorry… I want you to… but you need to really sit down and think about you… and not about me…
What if I can’t forget you?
Can I burn your name into my throat..?
Another day, Another war. I miss old Blessed by a Broken Heart… back when they were death metal…
Ahhhh…. Miss her. <3
I got in a huge fight with her best friend today. He smacked me in the face… I didn’t do anything. Out of respect for her. She means more to me than anything… We have said words we both regret… Now we have to still our minds and find whats right in our heart…
You had me at hello!!!
And we melt into the floor as one!
He wasn’t into one-night stands, he wasn’t into scoring to see if he could, he wasn’t into just acting just charming enough to get what he wanted before cutting someone loose in favor of someone new and attractive. He just wasn’t like that. He would never be like that. When he met a girl, the first question he asked himself wasn’t whether she was good for a few dates; it was whether she was the kind of girl he could imagine spending time with over the long haul.
One of my ex’s said that about me… that makes me happy… I hope she sees this too…
Last Night was amazing the way the candle flickered on her face… the way our bodies melted into one.. was amazing… the sweat, the emotion, the passion, the feeling of making love it was just so powerful it literally took my breathe away…
I could wake up next to her everyday for the rest of my life…
If you fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you’re falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, I got rid of everything i strike-through some of it just was too corny!!! I sent it to her she said yes! but i don’t think she means it. how I overreact to everything, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you endless I love you’s. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.
I haven’t posted anything in a long while… Just wanted to say Ashlee is perfection!
